Fly or fight

We lay calm in our beds that night. Even the baby, for once, slept soundly; even the dog, out in its kennel. And perhaps that was the odd thing, after all: how trustingly we slumbered. As if fate had gifted us a few last wholly innocent hours, before innocence fell away for ever. For when I woke, in the early morning – what was it? A difference in the quality of the light? Some new texture to the silence? But I opened my eyes, and I knew it. Something had changed. Something was wrong.

I made myself smile for a couple minutes. It always lifted my spirits. I don’t have a baby, a dog or anybody else to worry about. I am a young professional, advancing my career path. That silly baby dream is hunting me to sabotage my stable personal growth. In my dream, I am always lost and don’t know where to go, how to get back home. Home. Home is where your heart is, they say. My heart is hidden in some very hard to reach places, guarded day and night by my own monsters…

OK, enough. Light, camera, action. It is time to fly.

You take the same route to work, it is like being on autopilot, you don’t think, you just do it. You pick up your usual breakfast pack at the same coffee shop. You hand it down to the same homeless person with a dog. The people need to eat. Food makes you satisfied. Plus, there are babies, families, dogs, mortgages and other attachments that anchor you solid dead to the ground so you couldn’t fly.

If you cannot fly, then fight. This is what is going on around me. People fight for their illusions. And they don’t even see what they are really doing. They believe that they are living, going to work, eating, drinking, raising kids. They don’t even notice how they themselves become the casualties of their brutal wars.

I don’t fight. I fly. I don’t have attachments to fight for. I flee the battlefield as soon as I see the danger. Not that I’ve never had to kill anybody. But it was accidental, not intentional, human error, as they say.

Somehow, it is, actually, really hard for me to stay focused today, I have to make extra effort to control my easily distracted mind and not allow a morning breeze to carry me away. Maybe, it is spring that sweeps me off my feet, ever so powerful and strong: blooming cherries, tulips and newly born greens all over around me. Makes me feel like an unseasonal alien snowflake.

It is cold in the office. My boss is late as usual. He doesn’t care anymore about formalities. He thinks that he is a God. With all the power he got, I don’t blame him. Anybody would lose their mind. But I know that he is just like me, like everybody else in this office. He can fly and he is very good in fleeing the battlefields. That’s all.

– Have a job for you! You know how tense is it in our Southern Hemisphere.. We need somebody with your emotional intelligence to fix it. Needs to be done by the end of the day today.

Here you go, beginning of another productive day. My boss is here, he and his familiar carrot and stick approach.

– No problem, sir! – And that’s all for my distraction. I don’t have time for that anymore.

My assignment is to model a crisis in one southern country where people got dangerously out of hands with their internal fights. A decent size national crisis may help. The options are a standard famine or any other natural disaster, a flu epidemic, a currency crisis, etc. I create a few drafts and send it to the lab for testing. I used to work in the lab before, had to do a real fieldwork, play a simulation game to test if it would work as it should be. Once, I got stuck in the earthquake model and couldn’t get back on my own. Mary helped me out. Mary works here too. But she has attachments. That is why she is still doing her fieldwork and cannot be promoted to the next level. She wants us to be friends. She almost died saving me in that defective earthquake model. It was her job and she didn’t really do it very well if she was so close to kill us both. The memory of that disastrous trip flashed in my head in 2 seconds. I checked the gear on my wrest. 2 second is a good time. I can now control slips of my mind in 2 secs. Which is better than our team overage. As my mentor says, our mind is persistent and skilled distractor. He also says that to stay focused is the hardest work and the easiest hobby. He is the one who recruited me to work here fresh out of school. Old wise man without any false expectations, with work becoming his hobby.

On my way back, the dog in the park stood up on my approach and tried to lick my hand. It was not bad looking husky for a homeless creature. And while I paused measuring the probability to get infected by patting a poor thing, the homeless girl handed me a drawing. It was me… Flying…. How did she do it?
– I didn’t do it, – the girl said. – She did, – she pointed to the dog laying now comfortably at my feet, blocking my path.
– Good for her, – I turned to give her some change. And then I saw her eyes… Pearsing deep blue eyes… Tornado, earthquake and tsunami in one package.

She stood up from the bench and said:
-I’ll walk you home, it is getting dark.

This is how I ended up with the girl and the dog. The baby got into the picture some time after that.

And then, it was that night, when we did lay calm in our beds. Even the baby, for once, slept soundly; even the dog, out in its kennel. And perhaps that was the odd thing, after all: how trustingly we slumbered. As if fate had gifted us a few last wholly innocent hours, before innocence fell away for ever. For when I woke, in the early morning – what was it? A difference in the quality of the light? Some new texture to the silence? But I opened my eyes, and I knew it. Something had changed. Something was wrong. I couldn’t fly away.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

If I can do it, so can you

Dr Sue Black


What did you want to do when you were five years old? I wanted to be a driver of a big red London bus. I thought that would be the best job in the world. As I got older my thoughts changed slightly. When I was seven or eight I absolutely loved mathematics, I used to long for the weekend when I could go to the shops to buy maths textbooks to keep me occupied in my spare time. By the time I was eleven or twelve I wanted to be a psychiatrist, both my parents were mental health nurses and I used to enjoy reading all of their textbooks. I was very interested in why people behaved the way they did, and wanted to help people who were finding it hard to live a normal life due to mental health issues.

My world fell apart….

When I was twelve…

View original post 2,777 more words

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Library Lounge – B2 Boutique Hotel Zurich | Book Patrol: A Haven for Book Culture –

Library Lounge – B2 Boutique Hotel Zurich | Book Patrol: A Haven for Book Culture –

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Social bonds breed heroes!

Life makes much more sense if you have something or somebody to die for.

“Why do some people confront danger while most scamper for the exits? Altruism emerges in many disasters. A few weeks ago, three women came forward to say they survived the cinema shooting in Aurora, Colo., because their boyfriends shielded them. All three men are dead. ”
Read more:

Gilbert Becaurd

Video | Posted on by | Leave a comment

The river Svetlana

The River was frustrated. She felt trapped in the same strait. She wanted to go back to her roots, the Parent-Glacier.  She wanted to see the Big World that was hidden behind the dull trees and rocks that surrounded her.

She longed for Friends, strong and fast like her, with whom she could talk. But all other rivers that she met were too weak; she just absorbed them on her way.  And she couldn’t go back into her worry-free happy childhood. And she couldn’t change her course to see what is going on her left or right because she was a pretty focused and determined kind of river.

One quiet morning, a bird’s song woke her up.  The little lark was singing how beautiful the life is in this quiet valley.

The River looked around and… discovered a pretty dazzling scenery: rainbow of flowers and jewels of rocks,  spectacular fields and mysterious woods…

– I never have seen anything like that before! – admitted the River.

– You are so focused on finding yourself, your own way, your destination, your destiny.  You are so strong and powerful!..You just haven’t noticed anything else…

– Now, when you have seen our beautiful world, how can you leave! Stay with us!  Life is so safe and easy here! – the lark was singing.

– The trees will protect you from stormy winds! The rocks will give you their shoulders and calm you down when you are in distress! The birds will always cheer you up!

The song was going on and on… But the little lark couldn’t caught up with the fast stream of the River. The River left him behind pretty soon,  she was racing full speed ahead into her absolutely insecure, uncertain, unclear and adventurous Great Future.

Posted in inspiration, Photos, Uncategorized, video | Leave a comment

Lost and Found

When the sun came out, everything suddenly became CLEAR. RESOLVED. CERTAIN.

The restless shadows that wouldn’t leave me alone for such a long time… That’s all makes total sense now.  The ghosts from the future play…  The cast…

Why didn’t you tell me your story before? What took you so long to start trusting me? And… why me?


Lost room
by fogke

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment


“I never saw unicorn alive before!” said Alice.

“Well, now that we have seen each other,” said the Unicorn, “if you’ll believe in me, I’ll believe in you. “

(Lewis Carroll [Charles Lutwidge Dodgson] (1832-1898), Through the Looking-Glass, ch. VII, Macmillan (1872).)

A stubborn little sprout braved its way through the darkness of soil and the chaos on the ground.  It was wild and messy world, with no other way out, only up.  And up our sprout got, getting taller and stronger.  Until one day it was big enough to notice the others around him.  The little garden was full of beautiful roses in all shapes and colors.

Daily Life Portraits By Mitchell Kanashkevich 10

Photo : Mitchell Kanashkevich

– Where they all came from? -wondered the sprout.

– When you are small, you are stuck in your small world and you don’t see anything else, – whispered the wind.

-You  have grown up now and you can see the other flowers that look just like you.

If you grow a bit more you will be able to see the other worlds: the singing world of birds, the flying world of butterflies and the nurturing world of bees.

And if you grow even higher, you will see the entire Universe! Only the best and tallest roses could get there. The night sky is illuminated with their bright blossoms!

Echoes of a Stellar Ending Image credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech/UCLA

– I never saw stars before! How can I  get there? – asked the sprout.

– If you’ll believe in the stars, the stars will believe in you!

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment


She could stop the bleeding, make the pain go away and comfort a restless baby with one light touch of her hand. The entire village was filled with the pungent smell of roses from her garden. When they asked her how she does it, she just smiled.

She lost her parents when she was 8.  With a little brother on her hands, she worked hard day and night. Her smile kept her brother alive. She promised him that she would never ever love anybody else. 

When she did fall in love and got married, the great war broke and took her husband away from her.  Forever.  And, like that was not enough, the war killed her baby-girl.  She worked harder that ever, helping the weak and the sick around her.  Her brother came back from war.  Alive. She kept smiling.

When she got married again, her second husband died from cancer.  And, like that was not enough, her youngest son was killed in the accident.

Her hairs turned white, her voice lost its strength, but she kept a steady hand and keen eye. Those in need could find the way to her house at anytime of day or night. Her smile kept them alive.

When she was dying, drowned in  pain for days, people from the village made an opening in the roof of her house to set her soul free from all promises. She smiled one last time.

Posted in Life, Photos, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

In the middle, somewhat elevated

The city was long-lived, was useful and practical.  It had all reasons to be happy. But it wasn’t.

First, the heart of the city was taken over by buildings.  They said that it is going to be the tallest city in the world. Then, cars came and tied the hands of the city with their roads and bridges.  They said that it will be the fastest and the most dynamic city in the world.


Until one day, a little flower lifted its bright face, called the city by name and greeted it as old acquaintance.   And the city became a happy city again!


Posted in creative writing, Photos, storytelling, Uncategorized, video | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

The Samurai Creed

Acceleration was overwhelming. I finally parted with the launch vehicle that brought me to the orbit.   It was chasing after me now in a crazy revenge, like the past that is always  trying to hijack your present.  Or like your own misconception about yourself that messes up your perception of the others

My perfect spaceship was taking me away from it.
I turned off a cruise control…  Wow, the steering was so responsive that you can feel every bit of it!  With the ship like that, I laugh at the assaults of space and time!

And the journey began! I was passing by so many incredible worlds: compassionate comets and solitary asteroids, pretty little planets that were too scared to grant me landing rights and their glamorous stars that haven’t even noticed me.

Hey,  I made it! I discovered my perfect vessel – my body – that knows me inside out and yet faithfully carries me whenever I want to go.  What a vote of confidence!..  And the creed came:

I have no talent; I make Ready Wit my Talent.
I have no friends; I make my Mind my Friend.
I have no enemy; I make Unconsciousness my Enemy.
I have no armour; I make Benevolence my Armour.
I have no castle; I make my Body my Castle.
I have no sword; I make Mindfulness my Sword.

And then I opened my eyes. My 1-min meditation was over.

Posted in Life, meditation, Uncategorized, video | Tagged , | Leave a comment